I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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