we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
