i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
