I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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