I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
well you can't waste a boner
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
