ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
