I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
