we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
