I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
