the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
