She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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