Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
