How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
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