So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I have tasted many bathrooms
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
