Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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