he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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