dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Randomize
