i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
