First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
