woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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