she was so not down for the gang bang
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
