I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
