Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
porn star boner night. come get it.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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