I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
