How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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