someone threw a dead crab at me
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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