Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
