my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
