let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
