can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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