Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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