she's into porn, im staying here tonight
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
