mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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