bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just found a bag of teeth...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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