I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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