...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
