playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
