He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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