My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
