I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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