omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
