We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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