I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
