You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
His hands were made for my vagina.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
