all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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