Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
cat food counts as protein by the way
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
