i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
