I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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