she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
