once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
