Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
