it was like eating out sand paper
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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