If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Randomize
