Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
