Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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